When Love Becomes an Obligation

Scripture: Revelation 2:1–7

Fellas, do you remember when you asked your girl to marry you?

When I asked Catrina, I was pretty certain she would say yes. But I was still extremely nervous. It was a big thing to ask someone, and I wanted to make sure I did a good job. I wanted to honor her and ask her in a way that lived up to what I believed a girl had always dreamed of.

I haven't felt those nerves in a long time.

Over the years, those butterflies in your stomach begin to go away. The relationship changes. You get comfortable with one another. You know each other better, and the excitement of those early days settles into something deeper.

Does that mean the love is gone? Does it mean you don't love that person anymore?

Not at all. I love Catrina more now than I ever have, but it looks different than it did when we first started dating.

However, some people reach a point where their relationship becomes little more than an obligation.

Flowers for your bride? Maybe if you're feeling generous or hoping to get something out of it.

A shoulder rub for your husband? Maybe if you're in a good mood and he did something nice for you.

Date night? That's what you do when you have to go to somebody's wedding reception!

We all know relationships change over time. The way we relate to our spouses changes. The same thing happens with our parents and our children. Circumstances change, responsibilities change, and the way we express our love changes.

But let me ask you a tougher question: When did this happen in your relationship with Christ?

At some point, you may have been ecstatic about God's saving grace. You might have said you were on fire for the Lord. You were excited to read the Bible, pray, go to church, and tell other people about Jesus.

Then, somewhere along the way, something changed. Maybe you began to feel distant from God, almost as though He had stopped coming around as often.

But did God change, or did something change in you?

How often does Jesus feel like an obligation to you?

• I'd better read my Bible.

• I'd better pray.

• I'd better get to church one of these days.

• I guess I should put a little money in the offering plate.

How often do the things of God feel like an interruption, keeping you from doing what you really want to do?

This is the problem Jesus addresses with the church in Ephesus. They were good at doing good works. They worked hard, endured persecution, and stood against false teaching. But Jesus wanted more than good works.

Since good works and good doctrine are no replacement for love, we ought to seek a love for God that surpasses our love for the world.

1. Who Were the Ephesians?

Ephesus was a major city in its day. It was a center of commerce, culture, and religion. The city had temples dedicated to Greek and Roman gods, including Artemis, and emperor worship also played a role in its religious life.

All those temples made Ephesus a place people wanted to visit. And just like any major city, then or now, commerce was a major part of its attraction and a significant source of income for the people who lived there.

But here's where things got interesting for the Christians.

As the Gospel spread throughout Ephesus, it began to threaten more than the city's religious traditions. It threatened the livelihood of people who profited from those traditions.

In Acts 19, we read about a silversmith named Demetrius who made silver shrines of Artemis. He gathered other craftsmen together because he was concerned that Paul's preaching was hurting their business.

He told them:

“Men, you know that from this business we have our wealth.” — Acts 19:25

Demetrius was concerned that people were turning away from handmade gods and that the temple of Artemis would lose its importance. As the Gospel spread, people were changing what they believed, what they worshiped, and what they were willing to support.

Do you see what happened here? Demetrius wasn't simply upset because Paul disagreed with his religion. He was concerned that the Gospel was threatening his business.

Following Jesus meant that some things the culture considered normal were no longer acceptable to these new believers. And that kind of faithfulness comes at a cost.

When your faith begins to interfere with the things people value, you may find yourself standing on the outside. You may lose opportunities, relationships, or even the approval of people you care about.

It's one thing to turn away from the world when you first come to Christ. It's another thing to keep turning away when the world keeps offering you reasons to come back.

The temptation to compromise doesn't always come all at once. Sometimes it comes a little at a time. What once bothered your conscience begins to feel normal. What you once refused to participate in starts to look appealing.

We see a warning about that kind of compromise in Revelation 2. Jesus commends the Ephesian church for rejecting the works of the Nicolaitans, yet He also tells them they have abandoned their first love.

They were doing some things right, but Jesus still had something to say about their hearts.

And that brings us to an important question: Are we following Jesus because He is worthy of our devotion, or are we simply going through the motions of being a Christian?

Think about how easily we lose our motivation in other areas of life. Every December and January, we're going to see advertisements for fitness gyms, weight-loss supplements, and financial services promising to help us get our lives together.

We all understand the appeal of a fresh start. But motivation can fade when the initial excitement wears off. If our only reason for making a change is vanity, pleasure, or self-improvement, what happens when we no longer feel motivated?

Our relationship with Jesus must be built on something deeper than the desire to improve ourselves or get something out of religion.

Friends, when we first come to Christ, it's easy to get excited about the changes we're making. We see the things that need to change, and we want to become better people. But becoming a better version of ourselves isn't the ultimate goal of the Christian life.

When we truly believe Jesus is who He says He is, our lives are transformed. We begin to value Him above the things this world offers us.

The Ephesian Christians were doing good things, but losing their love for the Lord could turn their service into mere obligation. And obligation is not the same thing as a relationship.

Jesus created us for relationship with Him, and He saved us to bring us into that relationship. At the end of Revelation, we see the fulfillment of God's purpose: He will dwell with His people.

Mere obligation can become the place where a person's faith goes to die. So let us be more than people who are trying to become better, earn rewards, or check off a list of religious duties.

Let us be people who are devoted to the will of the Lord because He is worthy.

2. What Does Jesus Want for Them?

Remember, Jesus gave John this revelation for the seven churches in Asia. He also gave each church a specific message, addressing its strengths, its weaknesses, and what needed to change.

For the church in Ephesus, Jesus had plenty of good things to say.

In Revelation 2:2–3, He says He knows their works, their toil, their patient endurance, and their refusal to tolerate evil. They had tested people who claimed to be apostles and discovered that they were false. They had endured patiently and had not grown weary.

This was a hardworking church. They cared about sound doctrine. They were not willing to let false teachers lead them astray.

But then Jesus says something that should get our attention:

“But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.” — Revelation 2:4

Imagine hearing that from Jesus Himself.

You have been working hard. You have stood firm in your beliefs. You have endured difficulty and refused to compromise. And yet Jesus tells you that something essential is missing.

The text doesn't explicitly tell us whether the primary problem was their love for Christ, their love for one another, or both. What we do know is that their love had grown cold, and Jesus called them to return to the love they had at first.

He wasn't satisfied with a church that had its doctrine right but had lost the heart of what it meant to belong to Him.

I think we can understand how this happens by looking at people who work in difficult professions.

When I was a chaplain for the sheriff's office, I met law enforcement officers at many different points in their careers. Some were new to the job and still had an optimism about being able to make a difference. Others had become jaded. They had seen so much wrongdoing that they began to look at everyone as a potential bad guy.

When your job involves seeing people at their worst, it can change the way you see the world. You see people lie, hurt others, and make terrible decisions. Over time, it can become difficult to approach people with empathy because you've seen so many examples of what people are capable of doing.

One of the first things a person can lose in that kind of work is the ability to see people as people who need help, rather than simply as potential threats or problems.

Every once in a while, though, an officer gets a call that reminds them why they started doing the job in the first place. Often, those calls involve children. For a moment, they remember that they can make a difference.

But then another difficult encounter comes along, and it's easy to slip back into that jaded mindset.

Brothers and sisters, sometimes we can become just as jaded toward the Gospel.

You hear it from me week in and week out, and suddenly it becomes as familiar as a holiday you celebrate every year. You know the stories. You know the verses. You know what I'm going to say before I say it.

But let me remind you: This good news is changing your life right now, and, more importantly, it is changing your eternity.

The King we read about in Revelation submitted Himself to become a Lamb led to the slaughter so that your sins could be reconciled to God.

Jesus didn't merely make a way for you to be forgiven for the sins you've already committed. He is the Savior who brings His people all the way to the completion of His saving work.

We must never allow the Gospel to become old news to us.

The love of God is not less amazing because we've heard about it a thousand times. The cross is not less important because we know the story. And our salvation is not less precious because we have grown accustomed to talking about it.

Jesus tells the Ephesians to remember where they had fallen, repent, and do the works they did at first. He calls them to return to the love that should have been at the heart of their faith all along.

He even warns that if they refuse to repent, He will remove their lampstand from its place. Their church could not assume that its continued existence was guaranteed simply because it had a history of good works.

Friends, we need to hear that warning, too. Sound doctrine matters. Good works matter. Endurance matters. But none of those things gives us permission to neglect our love for Christ and His people.

Let us remind ourselves daily that the Gospel is good news for people like you and me. Let it never become old hat to us. Let us live in the joy our Lord has promised.

3. Will They Hear It?

Jesus ends His message to Ephesus with a familiar challenge:

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” — Revelation 2:7

Jesus doesn't assume that simply hearing His words means a person will respond to them. He calls the church to listen—to take His words seriously and respond with repentance and faithfulness.

He also gives a promise to the one who conquers: that person will be granted to eat from the tree of life in the paradise of God.

The warning is serious, but so is the promise. Jesus calls His people to return to Him, and He holds out the hope of life in God's presence.

Throughout Scripture, love is central to what it means to follow Jesus.

First John 4:19 says:

“We love because he first loved us.”

And Jesus tells His disciples in John 13:34–35:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It would seem that Jesus intends for His disciples, both then and now, to be people who love—even when love comes at great cost.

This is one of the ways believers should stand apart from the world. When someone sins against us, the world often encourages us to seek revenge or make sure the other person pays for what they have done. But Jesus calls us to pursue forgiveness, to love our enemies, and to reflect the mercy we ourselves have received.

That doesn't mean pretending evil isn't evil or refusing to confront wrongdoing. The Ephesians were right to reject false teaching. But standing for truth must never become an excuse for abandoning love.

I'm always reminded of Barabbas when I think about this.

Jesus was innocent. He healed the sick, cast out demons, and called people away from sinful living into a right relationship with God. Yet He was condemned to die.

Barabbas, on the other hand, was a criminal. He was the one who deserved punishment, yet he was released while Jesus went to the cross.

That picture reminds us of the grace we have received. We are not saved because we earned it. We are not saved because we were better than everybody else. We are saved because of what Jesus has done for us.

How can people who have received that kind of grace refuse to love others?

So let me ask you: Do we have ears to hear what Jesus is saying?

Will we love the people sitting around us in this room?

Will we love the people who are difficult to love?

Will we love our enemies?

Will we love those whom the world has decided deserve to be crucified for their sins?

Or will we act like Caesar, putting our enemies—or those who threaten our way of life—to death?

We can defend the truth and still love people. In fact, if we truly understand the truth of the Gospel, we should be people who are especially ready to show mercy, because we know how much mercy God has shown us.

Conclusion: More Than Religious Obligation

So let me ask you one last time: Is this church full of people who love Jesus, or are we simply religiously obligated people who want what Jesus offers and are willing to play along to get it?

Remember how tempting it is for a marriage to become one obligation after another. You do what you're supposed to do, but the affection and devotion that once motivated you have faded.

Our relationship with Christ can fall into the same pattern.

How often does Jesus become an obligation to you?

“I'd better read my Bible.”

“I'd better pray.”

“I'd better get to church one of these days.”

“I guess I should put a little money in the offering plate.”

And how often do the things of God feel like an interruption, keeping you from what you really want to do?

The church in Ephesus was good at doing good works, but Jesus wanted more than good works. He wanted a people whose lives were rooted in love for Him and for one another.

Ephesus had a special place in the story of the early church. Paul ministered there, wrote to the church, and invested in Timothy's ministry there. The city was also closely associated with the ministry of the apostle John. Yet even with that history, Jesus confronted the church about its loss of love.

A church can have a rich history, sound teaching, and a reputation for hard work while still needing to repent.

The Ephesians had defended the truth and opposed the Nicolaitans, whose practices Jesus condemned. Those were good things. But Jesus was not looking for people who served Him merely out of obligation.

He calls His people into a relationship founded on the truth that we love because He first loved us.

Good works cannot replace love. Good doctrine cannot replace love. And religious activity cannot substitute for a heart that genuinely treasures Jesus Christ.

So let us not be people who merely go through the motions, hoping to become better people or receive the benefits of religion.

Let us be people who remember the grace we have received. Let us repent when our love grows cold. Let us return to the joy of knowing Christ, and let that love shape the way we serve, worship, forgive, and treat the people around us.

Jesus is worthy of more than our leftover time, our occasional prayers, and our reluctant obedience.

He is worthy of our love.